Thursday, February 25, 2010

More about Nothing at All, but lots about Everything Else

How’s that for hormonal ramblings? Here’s much to say about nothing particular:
1. I found a great new behavior modification tool for our kids, we call it the token jar and I was going to tell you in marvelous smart and witty words all about it. But I’ve got nothing smart of witty in me. So I’ll tell you later.
Really, it’s been one of those weeks. Well-how about one of those last few days? Aunt Flo flew in ahead of schedule and with hurricane like force; reducing me to a quivering, frustrated, frustrating, irritated ball of goo who just wants to hang her head in a bowl of cookie dough and cry. I hate these kind of days. And on these kind of days when I can hardly stand myself all I can think of is just making through to bedtime. I struggle through it, wondering why it has to be so hard. And here’s what I’ve figured out, it shouldn’t be this hard. It’s hard for lots of reasons, hormones being one of them. But it’s hard because, even though I know these days happen (come on, once a month? I shouldn’t be surprised here) I set myself up for failure-I think I should really lower my expectations a bit during this time of the month. Expect less because I’d rather accomplish less really well, than try to accomplish everything and utterly fail.
So yesterday; I was sucking in my lower lip trying to hold it together, only to completely loose it all , in all places, during my girls’ ballet class. Really. What is with this mess that I am? At any rate, I had a startling realization. I don’t need to hold it all together. I don’t need to get through this day on my own strength. So many times God reduces me to not much so that I can and must rely on him. Ouch, it’s hard and it’s painful. But at the end of the day, as I let go of myself and attitudes and my selfish pity party (Come on gals, please tell me I’m not the only one who can throw a good pity party at least once a month.) I realized all I really need is him, God’s grace and strength really is enough. Even when I’m hormonal, especially when I’m hormonal. Because his working in me doesn’t stop simply because it’s that time. And it’s certainly not right to go on with a terrible attitude just because it’s that time. Really, the Holy Spirit gives us self control for a reason.
Thankfully, today is better. The sun is shining outside, and there is light and hope and peace, only because of God’s amazing work in me.
2. And on to lighter subjects, our silly dog is afraid of the camera. I’ve been trying to get some pictures of him and the kids. Or just him, but he heads out of the room as fast as a creature with his tail between his legs can walk. Really.
Oh, he’s also afraid of the vacuum, brooms, plastic bags, balloons, and sudden loud noises. But we love him anyway. He’s a gem. Even when his tail is between his legs and he just piddled on the floor.
Here’s the best I could do, and it’s funny because that’s just how I felt yesterday.
DSC_0095
3. And finally, today is grocery list day. Only to be followed by grocery shopping day tomorrow. Grocery list day is kind of daunting because I plan and shop for nearly a month’s worth of meals all at once. It makes grocery shopping day really tough, but when the pantry is stocked and I know what to fix for dinner it’s all worth it. All I need to figure out is what to fix for dinner, for the next month.
And that’s all the ramblings I can stand; and if you’ve hung in there this far dear friend, well I must say thank you. Thanks for putting up with my lunacy and for sharing the journey with me. It’s really much better knowing I’m not all alone here. Don’t forget that you’re not alone either.

5 comments:

  1. Oh thank you for your honesty! I had THE WORST day yesterday-for a lot of the same reasons! This is why I love my Mom Blogs!

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  2. I have hormonal ramblings every day so I felt right at home reading yours!

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  3. I really enjoy your blog and appreciate your honesty. I feel like I'm reading a note from a friend. Hope your weekend is better than your week has been. God is faithful!

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  4. I can completely relate to how you feel. I am having the same issue right now. The pity party here was getting out of control. I just want to roll up in bed, under the covers and not see anyone until I feel better. It is cold and raining here and it just adds to the feeling.

    I also shop for a almost a month's worth of food and it is a long tiring ordeal.

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

    Ruth

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  5. I've read your blog for awhile and I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoy it! I totally understand about the rambling "this & that" kind of posts. Sometimes we just need to be honest and say that we are having a bad day or a bad week! Be easy on yourself and just hang in there. A friend of mine said once that "God has given us enough time everyday to do what He wants us to do". So, everything that is really supposed to get done will get done!

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