Sunday, October 10, 2010

Saturday and Laziness and Stuff

On a normal, regular Saturday not too much goes on around here. That’s the way we like it. Sundays are always good but not always very restful because of church.
On any given Saturday I can hope that I spend most of it on the couch, or at least a great deal of it. This Saturday was no exception, and it was wonderful. I’ve realized something as a mom and a homemaker and a wife-if I don’t carve out times of rest for myself I will never get them.
Now my husband is good at rest-he can plop down on the couch with a book or his phone and rest away. It doesn’t bother him if there are dishes in the sink or laundry to fold or a floor so in need of vacuuming that icky things stick to your feet. And that used to really bother me, the fact that messes and things to do around the house didn’t bother him. But I’ve realized that I’ve made that my issue, I’ve gotten myself all bent out of shape because of it and I can totally ruin what could be a restful day because I grumble my way around the house-wondering why he doesn’t help or why he’s just sitting there or why he can’t see the mess for goodness sake.
But here’s the thing, he needs rest too and he doesn’t see things like I do, and he doesn’t really care that dishes are overflowing out of the sink and there’s a sticky spot the size of Kansas on the kitchen floor. And that’s got me thinking. It’s not that he’s a bad, lazy guy. He’s absolutely not, he is in fact downright amazing and handsome and all around fabulous. The man mows lawns and takes care of sweet elderly folks’ yards all week long. And that’s hard work day in and day out. He works his backside off, with a smile, so that our family has money. You know, to pay bills and buy cool dishtowels and stuff.
So I’ve realized it’s not fair of me to get upset that he wants to rest, after all-I am the one home all week long to keep things tidy and neat and stuff. And it’s totally not fair to disrupt his downtime so I can keep a perfect house. The point is, I’m learning to let the messes slide on weekends because weekends are for resting (and some playing too) and reconnecting as a family after a week of being somewhat busy. I’ve got no right to grumble about how he doesn’t help-because he does, a lot. He’ll gladly take over bedtime duties so I can get out for a quick run or just sit and let my brain go numb at the end of the day. He’s the first one to make amazing hot chocolate for the kids. So amazing that they don’t even want hot chocolate when I fix it. He’ll play games and wrestle and take Levi to the dirt bike track and help the girls ride their bikes and shoot hops and on and on and on.
I think I’ve let myself get out of shape way too much because he doesn’t help when I snap my fingers. And I've stopped snapping my fingers, I mean-really, that is not okay. So yeah-he’s a man, not a maid and I am the homemaker. He doesn’t nag on me to help him do his job all week long and complain when I don’t do things just right. Because that’s his job. Life is to short to get my undies in a bunch because the house isn’t perfect and I’m playing the martyr slaving away at dishes or whatever.
So this Saturday he fed the kids breakfast while got soaked on a rainy run.
I let the dishes sit, well most of the day. Then after the kids went to bed I asked and he gladly helped me unload the dishwasher and load it back up. We sat on the couch, a lot.
I wore these because it was cold and rainy.
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He made a giant plate of nachos for everyone for lunch.
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I stuffed leaves into a wreath for the front door.
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He read a book.
The kids were silly.
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I sat here and played with pictures and paper.
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He watched football.
And I edited pictures.
And we watched a movie and ate cake and it was all good.
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The messes didn’t go anywhere and the day was spent enjoying each other’s company, as a family and as a man and his wife who decided to work together and realized that the most important thing is making a home for our family. Not a clean house. I made a choice to focus on what really matters, and I’ve also made a choice not to bug or nag Zac about helping or not helping, I’ve made a choice not to get huffy because he didn’t see the messes all around. It’s not that he doesn’t see stuff, he just focuses on the most important things. And isn’t that life? Focusing on what is most important and then letting the rest fall away. When it’s all said and done the dirty dishes aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, but this stage of life is flying by at the speed of light. And here’s what matters, those dishes (or other messes) may get cleaned up and then reappear the very next day, or even hour. But those kids and this time in our family will never, ever reappear. They will never be 7, 5 and 4 again. So I’ll focus on that and the rest will have to wait a little bit longer.
So how was your Saturday?
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I'm linking up with Blessed Little Nest's Life Made Lovely: searching out lazy, focusing on what's most important and letting my family do the same sure made my life lovely this week!

4 comments:

  1. Thank you for the new perspective, I really needed that! I can fall into that same trap. I think sometimes by the time my hubby gets home, I just want to free myself from home duties but that's not fair to him either. I will definitely keep this tote in mind

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  2. Wonderful! I loved your pictures, and the wreath is GORGEOUS! You're right about needing to take time to rest and relax. I'm glad you had a wonderful Saturday1

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  3. i love your perspective as well; isn't it wonderful to come to a conclusion like that instead of let it stew and fester? i've been going through the VERY same issues but have come out on the same side as yourself.
    STUNNING wreath, by the way! Wow!!

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  4. I have to say, this post rocks. And it's a perspective that I need to hear and heed. I spend a lot of my time harrumphing about the laundry and the sticky spots and the leaves all over the floor inside the door and why doesn't anyone notice or care but me? But frankly, it's my problem. My husband truly does not notice...or care. He would gladly live in a leafy house. A house with laundry piled high unfolded in baskets. I need to learn to put my feet up on Saturday -- or any day for that matter.

    Thank you for this post -- I learned something valuable here! The power of rest...and letting go...

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