Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What I’ve learned about Marriage

respect, treat your spouse like you want him to treat you
romance and pursue your man-just like when you were dating
take and make time to be together. make “marriage time” that’s our dedicated time to catch up and reconnect and actually talk.  sometimes we don’t really talk too much….that’s good too
laugh, forgive quickly
show love, give the actions you want to receive
us
I’ve realized that I’m an interrupter.  When Zac comes to me with an issue or problem I usually don’t hear him out and let him say his part.  I jump in and offer solutions, theory’s, excuses or any number of things that turn the conversation from him to me.  That’s not cool, and not fair to him.  At our marriage course the other night we practiced communicating.  We each had a turn to share an issue that had been bothering us, and we actually had a napkin to hold to designate each one’s turn.  If that napkin was not in my hand I could not pipe up and butt in.  That was hard.  Really hard.  But Zac shared his stuff and I repeated it back, I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say about.  Then I asked him what I could do about it. 
It sounds simple, the art of listening, but it’s really tough.  Think about it, how often do you butt in during a conversation, turn the story around to you and totally disregard the person speaking?  I do that far too much. 
So this was good practice for us, and for me.  Communication is vital in a successful marriage, and I want a successful marriage.  I want my husband to feel respected by me and like what he says has value, because he is and it does. 
I’m keeping a napkin handy right now, just so I can look at his cute self holding it and know that it’s not my turn. 
I’m going to keep my mouth shut and it’s gonna be good.

3 comments:

  1. You wrote MUCH wisdom here. Thank you! And I love the napkin trick...I want to try it. ;)

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  2. sounds y'all are learning some GOOD stuff together! yay!

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  3. Good advice here -- I'm an interrupter, too!

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