Thursday, March 31, 2011

the challenge of saying yes

I’m a “no” mom.  One of those moms who has a hard time saying yes to my kids.  It’s not because I’m mean or want to squash all the fun out of life.  Sometimes I might say no because it’s just seems easier.  If I say no then there won’t be a mess to clean up, if I say no then I won’t be inconvenienced. 

Let me say this painful truth again, if I say no then I won’t be inconvenienced. 

Yes, I said that.  I say no a lot because it feels like a big inconvenience to say yes to my kids. 

I’ve been realizing that no is rarely ever the right answer.  I can still hear Dr. Laura’s words in my ears saying, “You need to say yes to your kids all the time.  If it’s not dangerous, deadly or illegal why are you saying no?”  Or something like that.  The world will do a fine job of saying no to our kids, don’t you think? 

I want to be a “yes” mom.  I really do.  But it’s really hard for me.  I’m working on changing that, I’m working on being less selfish and more willing to change my agenda and my to do list to leave room to saying yes.  Because when I’ve scheduled and structured my day so much then there is no room for spontaneous yeses to my kids. 

Isn’t that true of our lives as well?  We think things should fit neatly in a box (at least I do), then God interrupts.  He asks us to do something, he tries to bless us, he tries to reveal himself to us, and we’re too busy saying no the unplanned that we miss the greater thing he is doing.

I don’t want the word yes to be a difficult thing to say, to my kids or to my God.

It’s a challenge for me to say yes, but I’m up for it.  How about you?  Is this a struggle you have, or do you find yes easy?

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(and here’s a little picture of our trip through the mustard fields down in California)

4 comments:

  1. i say yes too much because i heard no too much.

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  2. i'm so with you. i have a hard time saying yes. i waffle between feeling a lot of guilt over this, and then just needing to have grace for myself because who i am just happens to need more order than some moms. if i say yes too often (which i sometimes try), then i have the potential to get overwhelmed and turn into a very unkind mommy. the whole point of saying YES is to be able to do so with JOY and FREEDOM, not just to be the good guy. so saying YES has the added challenge of doing so with a brave, strong heart that can lay down one's life and needs for the sake of another. and since i'm not perfect, that isn't always possible. sometimes i'm too needy, and i can't beat myself up over that fact.

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  3. In general, I'm working on "No" over here. But I get what you're saying, there are many times I should say yes to simple things for the children and I don't. BTW, were your kids on the cover the Family New magazine? Looks just like 'em, adorable.

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  4. i WAS a "no" mom. But a couple of years ago i forced myself to say "yes." seriously i had to talk myself into it/through it every time they asked. i see now that saying "no" had become a selfish habit. the more i say yes, the easier it is.

    dr. laura's quote..hmmm, may need to sticky note that where i can see it..and where my son (who i caught burning leaves with a magnifying glass the other day) can see it.

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