Thursday, October 6, 2011

I’m not even trying to hold it together anymore……

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Life has taken over around here.  In the midst of busy and hectic and schedules that seem out of whack I am finding myself off balance.  I’ve even developed a nasty eye twitch.  Seriously, I’m finding myself stressed over all the little things that seem to be piling up. 
So the other day I did what I normally do when I’m feeling like I’m ready to be crushed by the ever pressing tide called life.  I took out the camera.  I prayed too, that’s a foolproof stress reliever.  And since I’ve been an epic failure at actually taking pictures of my family lately I killed two birds with one stone.
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The perspective gained from looking through the lens slowed me down.  I found myself appreciating more and worrying less. 
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And I remembered that I have so much to be thankful for.  Even in out of focus self timer shots.
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And at the end of a long day of homeschooling and chores and checkbooks and bills I found laughter in the form of fake mustaches.
mustache
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It’s good to loosen up a bit.
It’s even better to reflect on all that you have and all that you got to do, not what you haven’t gotten around to.
I know I need to go back to God ordering my to do lists, and allow him to set the agenda for my days.  I also need to be less of a stress case, and that I can only do with God’s help.  I think sometimes it’s easy to gloss over stuff, pretend that life is easy and I’ve got it all together.  The truth is that sometimes, at least lately, I feel like I’m barely holding it together.   And then I’m reminded that I’m not supposed to be the one holding it all together.  I think this has been a theme for me this year, learning how to find rest in the midst of an unrestful life and learning to allow God to hold it together for me.  Surrender is required for that, because you can’t have someone hold something for you unless you’re willing to hand it over first. 
Today I’m handing it over.  Again.  I know he can make my mess beautiful. 

8 comments:

  1. Oh goodness, I so needed this. Since moving mid-summer, well, honestly since Jan. of 2010 when we found out number six was coming - and just when I thought things were settling down and hitting a nice rhythm - I have pretty much been feeling overwhelmed and out of control. I love the thought of God ordering my to-do lists. Perfect! Thank you.

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  2. yes yes yes to every word. hand it over. i feel like such a mess when i get to that place, but miraculously, when i stop striving, when i let myself fall, that is when Jesus meets me most. He is so happy to take over, order my steps, and replace my anxiety with His peace...like you said, rest inside an unrestful life. my heart resonates with your words so much gina. thanks.

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  3. I just love your last sentence. He can make our messes beautiful. So glad you were able to see His peace. xoxo

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  4. true true true! God is good all the time. ;)

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  5. Great reminder. So many reasons to turn aside from all that tries to swallow us up and allow God to speak to us and show us the really important things.

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  6. amen!

    and the mustache totally works on you. :-)

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  7. Yes He can make your mess beautiful. Mine too. This really encouraged me. Thanks for being so authentic, Gina.

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  8. Haha great to see these moments, so raw and real, thank you for sharing! and nice name ! glad to meet you!

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