I remember exactly where I was when it happened. It was the moment; you know the one just before you completely lose it? That’s where I was. Maybe I’m being dramatic, maybe you might think I just need to de-stress and get less busy. Maybe I’d agree with you. All I know is that on this particular Saturday morning hormones were surging, emotions were flying and my husband and I were suffering from I haven’t spoken one meaningful word to you or even seen you in the last week- itis. It was definitely one of those days. And when he left the house I was left with nothing but frustration, anger, and a twinge of disappointment-disappointment with myself, with our situation, with everything.
That is where I found myself. Starving for breakfast, yet driven to stop everything and complete a silly mundane task. In this case it was organizing tea. Of course the tea fiasco was simply the substitute for the cure. Organized tea does not magically erase frustrations or make anything better.
I realized then that it’s easy to trade the unseen eternal for what is visible and fleeting. That’s because the thing that is God’s best for me is usually hard. And because of my poor trade I forfeit God’s best, casting it off for what temporarily satisfies. I take his unfathomable gifts and swap them for little things I can control. And in this case it caused me to place my delight not in God, but in an organized and cleaned out cupboard. I took that outstretched gift from the hand of God and threw it away for a basket of tea.
As I furiously separated Earl Gray from Peppermint and Chai I heard that faint whisper. Thankfully grace broke through and pointed me straight to the cure I so desperately needed. It’s something we all need.
Can you delight in me here?
In the undone, in the tensions and fights, can you stop everything and rejoice in God your Savior?
My friends, this is where it’s hard. This is where I want to wallow in pity, cry on a shoulder, run away. This is where I frantically clean everything in sight, trading God’s way for mine and robbing myself of his joy in the process.
But this is exactly where I am. I am a flawed human who strives to live out God’s best and so often exchanges it for something less than. I always forget that if the Lord gives the day, as chaotic as it may feel, then I must trust that he plans grace for me. Even when I can’t see it. Delight is there-God is waiting. With extended arms and outstretched grace, inviting me to enjoy him. Even when it’s hard.
Delight should be my first line of defense. When things are falling apart I must run to God first. Delighting in God doesn’t have to be as hard as I’m making it out to be. I complicate things and screw them up with my over thinking and poor substitutions when all God is asking me to do is put my face towards him and soak up the joy his presence gives.
You fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11
Accessing God’s joy isn’t complicated, but it is hard. It takes turning to him first, and that means turning away from doing this thing my way. So often I choose my way first. I clean instead of pray, I worry when I should be praising, and those are poor substitutes for the lasting joy that God wants to give me.
Learning to delight in God first gives me a place for my frustrations. Turning my face to him first gives me the right perspective on things. That has become my new quest: Delight first.
“Will you choose to delight in me? I want you to delight yourself in me, and in me alone.”
And so I have been on a quest to find delight in God. Along the way I’ve realized that it is often my choice to make, despite circumstances and regardless of emotions I can choose to delight in the Lord. Or I can walk the other way. I am unpacking what this means to me in the middle of a busy and hectic life where distractions abound. I imagine that it’s a life just like yours, where children are needy, husbands want our time, bills need our money, and floors need our mops. It seems like an insurmountable task to delight in God even though life is spinning around us. But that is precisely what God has command his children to do. To delight in him in the midst of the even thoughs. I am excited to unpack this here weekly for you, for me…for all of us on the journey.