We are on week two of school around here. And I just have to say, that there have been some "moments" around here since day one.
Moments like the one when I ran my van into the side of the garage on Wednesday when I took all three kids to school for the first time ever, the first time ever for my little first grader. I guess I was having a hard time seeing around my tears. And the giant sunglasses I wore to hide them. All I had to say to my husband was "I have many other fine qualities." The new side mirror has been ordered and is on the way.
And then there are the crazy moments of running two girls to ballet lessons right after school, back go back, two days in a row. It's made for hectic crazy evenings, despite my planning ahead and getting dinner in the crockpot.
And maybe worst of all is the fact that my first grader has had homework every single night, even though her older brother and sister have none. The fact that the homework is merely busy work is not helping, it's the same tedious thing every night. There were lots of tears over this tonight and I really can't blame her. She is exhausted and this is not helping. Phone calls to the teacher just may be in order, and desperate cries of help to the God who placed her in this class, with this teacher.
All of it makes me feel like I just have no idea what I'm doing; how to do this school thing, how to mother them here in this season, or how to make the evenings peaceful despite all the other things going on. I know we are just adjusting, I'm hopeful that we'll get it together soon. But, man, this is tough.
In it all I'm yearning to hear God's perspective, to hear how to respond. Today I was reminded that the wisdom I need is only a question away.
If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help and you won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. (James 1:5 MSG)
The NIV says it this way: if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God.
I'm in need of a large dose of wisdom, and quickly. And then I'll also take an extra measure of grace. Grace for me, grace for my kids in this adjusting season.
Oh, and I miss them. The quiet days are nice but I just want to be with them at the end of the day, not fighting over homework and chores and bedtimes. I know that we are right where we are supposed to be, having them at the school they are in. And on nights like tonight I cling to that knowledge like the croaking frog across the room is clinging to the side of the terrarium.
And so I pray for wisdom, and I stand believing that God will give it. Because if the good Book says it I know it's true.