We spent our spring break home, on staycation. It was a full week, packed with lots of good food and five very happy people. And also a very successful trip to the driving range. My success is measured by the fact that no one died or got hit with a golf club or ball. Not us. And not the other guys who were there.
And after it was all said and done I was reminded that my most important role in life is in fact the role of mom. Sometimes we moms forget that. We get wrapped up in the other stuff of life: the laundry, the cleaning, the food. And then we get so busy doing that we forget to be.
This last week was about being; being family, being just us five, being flexible and being spontaneous. And it was glorious.
The doing causes me to forget sometimes. We get caught up in all there is before us, and though the doing is important because someone has to cook dinner, the doing sometimes causes us to see those people we are doing for as interruptions. Inconveniences. At least it does sometimes to me. I see them as those who are in the way, the needy ones, the messy ones, the ones who seriously need discipline or a hug. In the doing we forget that being is the most important part of life.
This week reminded me of that in a fresh new way. The laughter was deep and rich, the food was all cooked by someone else and the beds were never made.
As a mother I get too tied up in what I am doing. I make sure they’re fed and clean and educated. Then exhaustion sets in and I worry, do I do enough? Am I enough?
Yes, I am enough. You are enough.
We are just the mothers and just the parents that our kids need, even when we feel like we have no idea what we’re doing. And when we worry that we never get it right, or that we are inadequate, or that someone else is doing things another way, we must remember that God has a reason for giving us the children he gave us. They don’t belong to the mom down the street because they weren’t meant to.
Motherhood is a taxing job. But it is also full of it’s rich rewards. The trouble with those treasures is that sometimes we don’t stop long enough to look for them, our eyes cloud with weary and our backs ache with work and we cannot see the miraculous right before us because we don’t take the time to lift up our heads.
Staycation reminded me to lift my head. It compelled me to see, to hear, to feel the deep richness of motherhood. And it was good.
And of course we’re back to real life now; school and homework and housework all beckon. They yell loud and nag at me, they cause my eyes to dart everywhere and look right over the heads of the three who call me mom. I don’t want to that to be my default. And even on the bad days I pray for the strength to look up and see beyond.
We have a wall full of family pictures, old and new. I normally walk right by it, arms loaded with laundry, I don’t stop to see the little faces in the glass. But when I do stop I see dimples, I see the chubby baby tender in my arms, I see the laughter, I see learning. And then I see that the struggle of the day, though huge and overwhelming, won’t be the struggle of tomorrow. I see that by the grace of God I brought them here, to this stage in life, and I can surely be the mom they need as they travel into the next. God knew what he was doing when we put this little gang of family together. And he knew that I would be mom enough to give them what they need.
On the weary days I take comfort in the reminder that I am enough.
On the joyful days I rejoice of the gift before me, and pray to keep them alive to be grown ups who know the joy of the work they are called to do. I pray that they learn it from this mom, who has been reminded that she truly has all that she needs to do the job she has been called to do.
For His divine power has bestowed upon us all things that [are requisite and suited] to life and godliness, through the [full, personal] knowledge of Him Who called us by and to His own glory and excellence (virtue) (2 Peter 1:3, AMP)