Summer just seems to swallow up our plans. And that's good, it really is. But we've been doing and going and floating the river and trying to escape the heat. It's been a full month.
Also, we got a new dog. Enough said.
So yes, I've been busy. But right now at this very moment, the three kids are playing spy games outside in the oppressive heat (how they do that I'll never know) and the dogs are snoozing. And the house, she is quiet. I realize that if this post doesn't go up now it might never go up.
So here we have the last of the 14 things I've learned in our 14 years of marriage.
Sometimes, go to bed angry
Ignore the socks
Or the drawers that she never closes. Or the pile that always fills up the extra space on the kitchen counter. Or whatever it is that your spouse does that drives you batty. Life is too short to nag your husband over how often he leaves his socks on the floor halfway up the stairs. Even if it happens daily. Maybe instead, we can pick them up and take them to their proper place and pray a prayer of gratitude that our spouse is around to leave those messes out. And before you get too huffy about things, maybe it might be good to think about the things you do that might get under your spouse’s skin. I know I get frustrated at the socks, but I also am really good at leaving piles of books out.-all over the house. And I also hate to make phone calls and forget to turn the curling iron off. But my husband deals with these things gracefully and with patience. He deserves the same from me. Let the petty stuff slide. If we spend too much time focusing on the negatives we will never see the positives. And what’s the fun in that? It just makes us a negative, grumpy people.
There will be times in your marriage that you will do things that hurt your spouse. Or make them angry. This is a true fact. I think it’s impossible to live in community with someone without little, or even big, disagreements coming up. Make a choice to pre forgive your husband or wife. Even if your furious or wounded over something, you still love each other. And that’s what really matters. It’s about extending grace and patience and kindness towards your partner. And I can’t think of this without thinking of how God still tirelessly loves me, even when I make the same silly mistakes over and over again. He forgives me and then he forgets. Can’t we do the same for our spouse?
Don’t take yourself too seriously
And finally, lighten up. Live a life that allows for rest and play and rejuvenation; together, individually, and as a family. When you are well balanced in this area, or as balanced as one can be, you’ll be better equipped to handle the big things when they come. And they will come. But in the meantime? Play a little. Laugh together. Let the little things go. And, over all of it, remember why you said yes to each other in the first place.