Tuesday, August 13, 2013

more than a conqueror

Recently I have conquered one of my greatest fears. It’s one of those silly things, actually. When other people might be terrified of bugs and tight spaces, I have long been paralyzed with fear when it comes to sewing.

I know. It’s really dorky.

But that’s the cold hard truth. I blame this on my Mom. Sorry Mom, but you know as well as I do that you cannot sew. And when it came time to mend something in our house, I fondly remember my mom pulling out the glue gun, safety pins and the stapler. What she lacks in sewing skills, my mother makes up for in ingenuity. And she passed that right along to me. I was really okay with it. I resigned myself to a lifetime of staples, stitch witchery and glue gun usage to cure my sewing woes. And if worse came to worse, I figured that I could always call on the help of a number of sewing savvy friends.

For many years I was fine with the way things were. I was content even, knowing that I would never pass along sewing skills to my daughters. I have many other fine qualities that I’d be happy to see replicated in my offspring. That sewing thing? Well, it just would be one of those things.

Despite the fear I had though, I also was curious. I wondered what it would be like to be a part of that club that can hem pants and whip up some curtains at a moments notice. 

Fate worked in my favor last summer when I stumbled across a sewing machine in a game of bigger - better with our youth group. It was God’s way of saying that I could indeed conquer my sewing fears. Except, those fears held me tight. What if I sewed my fingers together? What if I messed up? What if my seams were never straight? I what if-ed my sewing desires to death.

Until one day I realized what a great big dork I was. It’s a sewing machine. I know how to do things, why not try? So I did. I fumbled and fussed with it with little success. Even though I initially didn’t make progress my fears began to subside. I ended up taking the machine to the local sew and vac and the very kind gentleman there showed me how to properly thread the machine, he settled my bobbin issues and then he cleaned her and got her in good working order. 

And now?

I can sew. It’s not perfect. And I might just make a real seamstress cringe. But I’m sewing. 

Looking back I can see how silly my fears were. And how trapped I was by the lie that I just couldn’t do it. I believed that mistruth and it limited me. It kept me from something that I actually enjoy doing.

And I wonder how often we do that in life.

We listen to the enemy’s lies that say we can’t do something.

We’re not good enough.

We don’t have what it takes.

And we live in defeat because of it. 

I’ve been there lately as a mom. I’ve been listening to the whispers of my enemy that say I don’t have what it takes, that I can’t deal with my kids, that I’m just all undone and defeated.

And do you know what? None of that is true.

It's worth repeating. None of that is true.

You see, that enemy, the devil wants us to live defeated. He wants us to give up before we even try. He wants us to forget that the battle has already been fought and won on the cross. He wants us to forget that God is on our side. And his lies are so tricky and sneaky that often we go along with them. At least I do. And in the last week I’ve stumbled over those lies more than I care to admit. I’ve been walking, zombie like, under his attacks. His arrows say I’m not enough. His lies pervade and tell me that I can’t do this whole mother thing.

And then one day it hit me. I realized what a big fat liar he is. Because the truth is that I am more than a conqueror. But as long as I listen to the enemies lies I will miss walking in the victory that Jesus won for me. 

So when the deception sneaks in, that thought that says I can’t do this and I’m not enough, I have a choice to make. I can go with it. Or I can stand up to the enemy and declare this truth:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

If God is for me, who can be against me? 

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen?

I can choose to say out loud that God is already working in me and has made me a conqueror. And I can tell the enemy that I do have what it takes. I can do the job God called me to as a mom. Because he made a victor, not a victim. 

I am now going to work on memorizing Romans 8:28-39, because I believe it holds some keys for victory in the midst of the battle. 

We are more than conquerors my friends, in the big things and the little things. And God wants us to make a choice to fight back and walk in victory. 

There is marvelous fruit on the other side. 

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