Friday, September 20, 2013

when you can't be selfish about your me time

I must confess this: it’s been a tough week. At it’s start I was full of plans of accomplishment. And then life started happening. 

You know that phrase about the best laid plans? I don’t either. But I was thinking that, and how all my plans are subject to God’s stamp of approval. So I can plan all day long, but it’s really God who orders my day. 

And sometimes, just sometimes, I hate that. Really, I do. I like to be in charge. I like to have control over my schedule. I like to call the shots. Except that kind of thinking rarely gets a nod of approval from God. Oh, yes, he loves me anyway. But I think he just shakes his head and comments to Jesus something like, “She has no idea what I’ve got planned for her. And those lessons she needs this week? They’re going to be good ones.” That’s how I imagine it anyway.

And that is just how it happened. Monday started like a normal Monday, but a few unforeseen events came tumbling in. They were good, good things and I am so glad the opportunities I had came my way. But the short story version is that those things caused me to push my to do list to Tuesday. And then a few other things caused me to push more of my list to Wednesday. You can see where this is going.

And here’s the honest truth, it started to wear on me. 

But by Thursday I had it all figured out. (See, there I go again.)

I would stay home. ALL DAY LONG. I would speak to no one. ALL DAY LONG. I would tackle cleaning and to do lists and live happily ever after. ALL DAY LONG.

Remember that bit about the best laid plans? It seems God had other ideas. 

I was cruising through the day when the phone rang. I was actually happily sewing. It was the school and so I felt obligated to answer. It was a daughter. It was a tummy ache. 

And so it goes. 

She stayed through lunch and then I picked her up. We came home and she proceeded to....

feel just fine. ALL DAY LONG. 

She just wanted home day too. It seems that we are similar, and we both need that space. She’s just young and hasn’t learned how to properly communicate it. But that’s another post for another day.

And here’s the deal, I really struggled with my selfish feelings over having my day interrupted. 

But through it I was reminded that being a mom usurps everything. And even more than that, God’s plans for the day take priority. I wanted to get things done. But he wanted me to focus on my daughter. I wish I was a faster learner. Because I tend to go around this block an awful lot.  Prayerfully, I’m asking to get it this time.

Because that to-do list I had? It’s still waiting. And today has turned out to be one of those happy home days. 

I need my me time, but I just can’t get all selfish about it. I have to trust that God knows I need it and he’ll take care of those little details. 

So today, I’m embracing the quiet and the solitude and I’m so very glad to have a patient teacher. Maybe I am appreciating it even more because of the nature of the week? 

To celebrate that me time I will light my pumpkin, orange, clove, apple cider spice candle. And I will sew in silence. And I will read that book. And I will just sit and watch the leaves blow by. 

I realize that makes me sound like I’m 80. I’m going with it. Today, I’m having me time. Today I’ll be slower. That does not make me old. It makes me smart. And it will do the same for you too, if you let it.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like bliss to me! I'm appreciating silence more & more, or at least, not always having music/podcasts in the background.


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