Tuesday, April 15, 2014

how to kill time when you're waiting on answers

If I could have you over this morning I’d make a big cup of coffee, just for you. I’d want to hear what’s up in your life and what you’re learning. I’d want to know how you’re being challenged, where you’re struggling and where you’re finding victory. And I’d share the same with you. I’d tell you about how this season has been amazing as I’ve seen God orchestrate things in my life, and also very hard as he’s refined things in me along the way. 

Many of you know I spent last week waiting for some test results. By nature, I am a stewing kind of person. I mull over things, I internalize everything, I can’t shut my brain off even if I tried. This makes it difficult to wait for answers to the unknown. 

So what do I do as I wait? I’m teaching my brain to meditate on God’s word when I find myself going down the path of worry. I wrangle my thoughts and place myself under God’s covering. I go to the Bible and drink in it’s comforts. But this body has to move while she waits. 

Often I pray and clean. I meditate on Scripture while I paint walls. The mindless motions of cleaning form a backdrop for the greater work going on in my heart and my soul. And now, this old house is cleaner than it’s been in a very long time. I’ve gone room by room and cleaned, cleared out, and touched up. 

Unfortunately, as a result we can hardly step foot into our garage. My husband is likely about to die over this, and I feel the same. I’m tempted to throw it all on the driveway and put a big sign on it that says “FREE!!!” But my husband feels like a garage sale would result in money, and since I’ve never turned down money I guess I have to agree. 

In the meantime I’m selling furniture on Craig’s List (any local friends need a giant mission style hutch?) and I think the kids are a little fearful that they’ll come home to empty rooms because I found a good buyer for their beds. Don’t worry-I won’t. But. The house? She feels good and clean and ordered.

So of course I must revel in her spic and span ways for just a bit.*

*Full disclosure here, the realities of two people working three jobs from home is that things get cluttered. And while I would love to show you a really nice photo of how clean our home is, that's just not the case. Yes, it's clean-but it is momentarily cluttered, which is why I would distract you with a large cup of really good coffee. And yes, there is big horned sheep laying down in front of the fireplace. And doesn't everyone have one of those? Also, it startles me enough to make me pee a little every time I walk by. Soon he will be hanging in his proper place. Also, we currently have a piano bench for a coffee table. As I have impulsively sold ours on Craig's List. And one more thing, I'm thinking of making white slip covers for the sofas. Thoughts? Suggestions? Am I crazy?

Anyway, it's spring cleaning time. I throw open windows and shake off dusty curtains and fluff up stagnant pillows. And it feels good. It’s like we’ve all taken a big, deep breath.

Oh, and those results? The doctor didn’t see anything that was cause for immediate concern. And we praise God for that. Because maybe there was and God took it away. I do know I’ll be seeking out a second opinion to deal with the cause of these unpleasant symptoms. Thank you for praying, thank you for the kind emails and prayers and thoughts you all sent my way. I feel them, and I’m grateful for sisters near and far who help carry the load.

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