Tuesday, October 14, 2014

7 signs that you might be a control freak

We’ve come far enough in this series to see two things. First, it’s just not good to be a control freak. And second, control is something that gets passed down through our family lines.

Control is like a spirit that hangs around, bugging us and nagging at us. Eventually we accept our controlling tendencies without really seeing them, or without seeing how much of a big deal they are.

That’s where I was. I wasn’t the nagging wife you hear about, I didn't mind (too much) with messes at home. I wasn’t a helicopter parent. But I still hung on too tight to my need to be in control.

I also used to be strapped by fear. It wasn’t just an uneasy feeling, it looked more like panic attacks. Unfortunately, it was panic attacks over illness in the house. I know, it’s not very exciting or glamourous. But I used to be terrified at the thought of a stomach bug invading our home.

It took a couple of bouts of illness in the house for me to begin to see how fear was invading my life. At its root, that fear was just a symptom of a bigger thing. I wanted to be in control. When someone got sick, I lost that control. I was extremely fearful of that happening. I was also extremely fearful of a small child not making it to the bathroom in time, which only fueled my anxiety over things. 

Realizing all of this was a turning point. But if I had been paying attention, I would have noticed other indications that I had issues with control.
If you’ve ever wondered if you might have an issue with control, here some good questions to ask yourself:

If you answered yes to these questions, you’re in good company. Even better, the freedom bell is ringing loud. Do you hear it?

I’ll leave you with this picture: There’s an old Indian tale about two wolves. The story goes that a grandfather is telling his grandson about the two wolves that live inside of him. One wolf is good and righteous, but the other is selfish and evil. The elder explains that those two wolves are always fighting to get out and be in charge. At this point the young boy wonders who will win, the good wolf or the bad wolf. The grandfather’s response is simple, he tells his young grandson that the one he feeds is the one that will win. 

If we feed that spirit of control in our lives, control will grow. But we can starve that spirit, and allow the righteousness of Christ to take over. 
The process of ending controlling tendencies starts by simply identifying them. Ask God to help you identify how you’ve been controlling. But that’s only the first step. Once we’ve recognized that we have a stronghold of control in our lives, we have a choice. We can live with that wolf growing larger, or we can stop feeding it. We stop feeding it by practicing spiritual warfare. The rest of this month we’ll dive into that topic.

Thank you for sticking with me this far, freedom is calling, can you hear it?


This is part of a month long series on Quitting the Legacy of Control, and putting an end to our control freak ways. Catch up on the rest of the posts hereor by clicking the button below.


  1. I like that wolf story and yes THE FREEDOM BELL IS RINGING! This is everything that I am dealing with right now for my 31 days (and beyond, but we'll focus on October for now!).

    1. Thanks Natalie.

      Yes-let's get past the 31 days!

      But as you can see, I'm already way off on posting daily-and this control freak/perfectionist says that's just fine! ;)

  2. Hey Gina! Popped in here as a fellow 31 Dayer. I have enjoyed reading through your series and can so relate to much of what you've shared. I am so very thankful HE has not given up on me and continues to teach and refine me through this process of Letting Go (what I'm writing about this month) of control.

    1. Thank you!

      I love what Joyce Meyer says, "I'm not where I should be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." Or something like that. So grateful for his grace!

  3. This is a FANTASTIC idea for a series! I really enjoyed today's post!


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