Thursday, October 2, 2014

control is not the boss of you

Maybe it looks a little bit like being a perfectionist. Perhaps it's a little bit bossy. Or, maybe you simply want to control things, and you can't even figure out why. 

I think we've all got a little inner control freak. Unfortunately for some of us, those little controlling urges are a lot louder than we'd prefer. 

Control shows up in so many ways. This month we're going to explore a few of those and begin to learn how God can bring us to his freedom.

I saw it once in our daughter's friend. She ran just on the near side of bossy, and her ideas were always the loudest of the group. I overheard the conversation one day as the kids were playing and began to realize that control likes to grab hold of us while we're young.

“Those bows go in the front. Both of them, they need to be tied in the front.” She insisted on it over and over. Our daughter’s friend was about to have a fit over the bows on my daughter’s dress. It was the fancy Easter kind, with a big bow in the back and a smaller bow in the front. 

My daughter joyfully wore the dress daily, as it was fancy and perfect for climbing trees. The trouble came along when one of the bows became untied and our neighbor wanted to help. Unfortunately her idea of helping was bossing my daughter about the placement of the bows. My daughter insisted repeatedly that the bow should be tied in the back, but her friend wouldn’t hear it. 

This is what control does. This sweet friend thought she knew what was best, and she wasn’t able to hear anything different from anyone else. 

The nature of control is that it drives us to focus on what we think is best. It causes us to force our opinions onto others. And it drives wedges into otherwise healthy relationships. 

This tendency to be in control, be a control freak, and boss others (or yourself around) isn’t limited to childhood friends. I see it daily when I check my lipstick in the mirror. It’s something I have chosen to wear for most of my life. And it’s something I have begun to notice my that my daughter is wearing as well. 

I know that it is an area that the enemy uses to pull me from God. I also know that it is an area that God wants me to experience freedom in. Here's the thing about control: it doesn't have to be the boss of us anymore.

The goal is freedom, and it is attainable. But it’s not something we do on our own, under our own efforts. Freedom is only gained by walking in step with the Sprit of God who leads us in our journey. 

Will you join me on this journey?

freedom from control

This is part of a month long series-catch up here

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