Monday, October 6, 2014

why shouldn't I be a control freak?

when the need to be in control goes too far

You might have noticed that I’ve already fallen off the wagon with this whole blog for 31 days thing. You're right. I have much to say about control, and about what God’s teaching me. Except I spent most of this weekend being a control freak and trying to micromanage my kids and my husband, leaving me little time to put this post together. It wasn’t a fun way to spend a weekend.

But it makes me think, is it really that bad to be a control freak?

We know that the need to control likes to boss us around. And we’ve seen that we often can pass that on to our kids, and spread it down the family line.

Why is that so bad?

Control isn’t actually a bad thing. It’s something that we need. From the time we’re born, we spend our entire existence ganging control. We grow, and as we do we learn to control our bodies in every way. That is good. 

The good side of control is that we learn to operate in self control; however, control has an ugly side. 

When God created man he gave him the right to rule and reign. He gave man a job to do. It’s God’s design and you can hardly blame us for doing what comes naturally. Except the way we control isn’t at all what God intended. 

He does give us authority, but it wasn’t meant to be absolute. The problem lies not in control itself, but in our twisted perception of it. We were made to reign. However, we treat this God given privilege as a right and a dictatorship. That is never what God intended. We are co-heirs with Christ; that means we do have a job to do, but we don’t do it alone. We reign with Christ. Too often we try to reign over Christ and over everyone else.

The enemy has twisted my thinking. His sly way was to introduce us humans to the idea that we could be all powerful, all knowing, all in charge. That is not what God intended. He is the ultimate authority, but the enemy uses our desire for control to trick us into pulling authority from God right into our own laps. It causes us to say “we have this, thank you very much.”

If you identify as a control freak, the enemy has twisted your thinking too.

This whole control thing messes with our faith. As we try to control all the wrong things (people’s perceptions of us, our husbands, the chores, the PTO) we pull ourselves out of the hierarchy that God established. Control wants to place us over God. The issue of control is stronghold, a place where the enemy influences our thoughts and actions. 

It’s also a matter of trust. We’ll get to that tomorrow. 


This is part of a month long series on Quitting the Legacy of Control, and putting an end to our control freak ways. Catch up on the rest of the posts here, or by clicking the button below.


  1. I'm reading your series. I think it's totally fitting that you missed a few days, and spent it "studying" your content. "But God," right? ;)

    I come from a long line of controlling women (who happen to be married to passive men). I went into marriage wearing the pants... But God. He has time and time again pried control out of my gripping fists. Due to financial reasons, health issues, history I have lost control of my household, body, relationships. And though I didn't go down without throwing a lot of tantrums, like a child, I've finally learned to submit to my Father's will and relinquish my own. And I'm so glad I did -that He made me. The truth is- I like me so much better now. I can also see that my family does, too. :)

  2. I’m so grateful for freedom, aren’t you? When I’m not controlling, I like me so much better too.


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